Hello Again

Well, my mother-in-law has come and gone, taking ClaireBeth back to Ohio with her. ClaireBeth loves her new school, has a new bike and is having a great time. I call her every morning and we talk and pray before she goes to school. 

ZoeBel and Vee are doing okay. They don't really talk about ClaireBeth, and I'm worried that they think she's one more person who has disappeared from their life. They haven't talked to her yet, but they will today. 

I've found a cute place to live, I just need to apply and get approved. I'll do that Monday (I had hoped to do it today, but oh well). They allow cats (I don't know how many), so I'm thinking about getting one (maybe two!) for the girls. I just don't want to wait until ClaireBeth gets home. I found a great blog to adopt kitties in the area, fabulousfelines.blogspot.com. It's a little expensive, but the cats are young, fixed, dewormed and vaccinated. You also get a free vet visit. So maybe for the girls' birthday (early:D). I still don't know what I'm going to do about childcare. Scary.

Work is going okay. I'm getting better and feeling a little more confident. Except when it comes to ordering. I was supposed to do that today and just could not focus, so I didn't get it done.  I kind of just left. 

Eric. Well, Eric is grumpy. Eric is making poor choices. Eric got the position he wanted at work, but I don't see the point. What is a position at work going to get you?

So I'm off. My plans for today were messed up, but I'm sure I can find something to do.

Where has the time gone?

Good grief. It's only been like two months. I guess I'll go by topic as opposed to person.

So school. I have one week left. I'm at a 98% on my tests. I'll definitely miss the office when I'm done. It's nice to be in a place that is well organized and full of fun people.

On to work. I'm currently doing a "paid internship". Which means that someone that interviewed me and had me come in for free for two half days (where I worked 22 hours over those two days) still hasn't decided if they want to hire me full time. I'm also the only assistant in the office. I finally told the doctor that I needed to be paid since I have three little girls. Dr was supposed to decide after this last week if they wanted to hire me. Of course no decision. But I am getting paid (though not what I should be) and I'm learning a ton. So what if I don't see the girls or eat all day. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, right? I sent out more resumes and someone else contacted me, I just hope they don't let the distance deter them. It's up in Oceanside and I told them that I was willing to move up there so hopefully it won't. Once I get a job I'll start really looking for a place to stay. No point moving to El Cajon because it's cheap if I work in Fallbrook.

ClaireBeth is going to Ohio to finish first grade. She leaves with my mother-in-law on Thursday It seems the easiest option. There will be no issue with days missed and there will be a reason as to why she doesn't get to see Eric.

So on to Eric. He's still being completely grumpy and non-reconciliatory. He still hasn't filed for divorce but says that he plans to some time this week. He refuses to go to counseling. He keeps saying work has been so busy. I think he forgets that I've been through all but two of the cycles he has. 

ZoeBel is, well, ZoeBel. Nothing much has changed, except she may be more devious than ever.

Vee turned two about a month ago. She's talking in huge sentences and has a strong personality, to use a polite word for it. 

Umm, not a whole lot else. I'm exhausted and kind of grumpy. If I have any spare time on the computer I spend it on Facebook. Not as much writing so I feel less depressed there. Here I just write and it gets kind of pathetic. But yep, that's about it. I'll check in soon, hopefully less than 2 months from now!

Just Checking In

Today was ClaireBeth's first day of school. I went and registered her, which took forever and was rather a pain since I was transferring within the same district. There were a few things that kind of concerned me, but I can't really be too picky right now. She was put into a 1st/2nd combo with Mrs. Johnson. She came home with homework but nothing else. NOTHING else. I'm guessing we should have class stuff by the end of the week, but the teacher wasn't too prepared. Neither was the front office. It was very disorganized. There were quite a few other kids enrolling today and another new girl in ClaireBeth's class. So you would think that it's something the school would be used to. Unfortunately I had to go to work right after I picked ClaireBeth up and then the kids went to bed early today. I'll have to talk to her tomorrow. I haven't really spent a lot of time with the girls since we moved in. Randi does things differently than I do and we're trying to find a balance. 

School and work are great. I'm learning tons and doing tons and am really liking it. But I also haven't seen anything gross yet. I probably don't want to move to hill-billy country to be a dental assistant. Bubba teeth are fun at Halloween and that's about the only time. Laelia is great. She's been rolling all over the place for a while now but her independent streak is coming out and apparently she's not big on stretches or being moved about like a baby doll. Unfortunately it won't get any better from here. But for the most part she's a joy to have, spitting out her food aside. I will definitely miss her when I have to quit.

No news concerning Eric, though he did say he'd some to Vee's party. He tried to say he wouldn't but I convinced him to. It's not her fault and she shouldn't have to suffer because of it. Instead the rest of us will so she can have a few pictures of her birthday party when she's older. Oh well, it's the long run that counts.

Other than that we're good. Randi and I are getting along pretty well, especially considering the fact that it's her house and we're both strong willed. She's much more laid back about stuff though. So I'm living with someone who's aggressively laid back. Go figure. So my routines and methods are having a hard time fitting in, even though it is admitted that they work better. Hmm, maybe we should try couples counseling. And it's a lot harder being a stay at home mom than going out and working. Especially if you actually spend time with your kids. I miss it but like having a few hours away. However I'm not really looking forward to having to work full time. I might actually miss the girls! But I'm off to bed. And wondering what I can reschedule to make everything fit into the week. Wish me luck!

Stupid Widgets

Well, I don't know if that's what happened, but it's a fun word. I tried using a different template site since the one I usually use crashed a few weeks ago. It totally messed up my blog. So I'm not sure how to fix it since I mainly shop and email on the computer. Plus everything is Valentine's right now anyway. Haven't decided what to do with that; or my birthday two weeks after. Hmm, hadn't really thought about this. Sucky.

So A Quick Recap

Went to school Saturday. It was a short day and I wish they had shoved more in. But I have a test next week. We did make impressions (the goopy stuff in the tray),  models (replicas of the teeth from the impressions) and whitening trays. We also watched two videos and saw truly disgusting nasty teeth. Ooh, ooh, I also almost made my partner gag with the tray but got a great impression!

I went in to the office Monday and Tuesday afternoons. It was fun. I've seen fillings, dealt with my first patient who thought he knew more than the dentist, helped with two kids and torn down a lot of rooms and sterilized a lot of instruments. Fun fun fun.

As to the house I am now completely done. My father-in-law and his girlfriend helped a lot and my small group saved me big-time. Sarah came and helped me clean two days and the group watched kids and actually helped me get the rest of my stuff out of the house. Eric wasn't too happy with how it was left but I did all the cleaning and got all of my stuff out. He gets to finish up the house (vacuum a room or two and I'd scrub down the kitchen sink again but whatever). The back yard and the garage are also his to deal with. Apparently, though, Vee spilled rubbing alcohol in his closet and some of the colors from his clothes bled. He was a little grumpy about that too. But I left my keys and garage door opener and so can't go back in. It's a relief but sad. No matter what we couldn't have pulled our notice and I briefly met the people that will move in, but still. Oh well. It's not up to me.

Some Days

Thursday started out a good day. Randi got us Starbucks and filled my van up for me. That was great. Then it went a little downhill. I had to start my HepB vaccines. Right as he's about to stick me the guy says, "Because of the way the medicine's made and it being a little oily it's going to sting a bit." I just look at him for a second. I asked him why he told me that and didn't just stick me and he said he didn't want me to be surprised. Why would I want to know that right before you're going to stick me? 

When I get to the old house nothing's wrong, I'm just not sure where to start or what to do. Dad and Sam and Brandon meet me at the storage to put my dresser in. When I open the door there are all of my dishes lying in a pile on the floor. A good few of them are broken. I didn't want to get a count. So we go back to the house and get more stuff. I get completely turned around and it takes us an extra ten minutes to get to storage because the Balboa exit doesn't actually put you on Balboa. Nice. It all fit and I think I have enough room for the few things left. So when I go over today I can hopefully get a good bit done. Then we're off to bible study late. Randi is too sweet, though. We left home about 1:30 and at 6:30 she called because she was worried about us. She'd forgotten about bible study.

We got there and I was just about to step in Vee when threw up. She had run around the storage place after eating a Mama Rosa's pizza. Then I ran with my arm on her tummy up the street to the house. So I was hoping that was it. Except she did it again. I was at bible study for an hour and probably was a bigger disruption than anything (big surprise, right?!?! When am I not?). And she got mostly carpet. I'm glad I was wearing two layers yesterday. People don't like it when you drive naked. They're not too understanding about throw up and the like. And I still get Laelia today. Not that I don't want her, but Vee's already clingy and whiny today and I don't want Laelia to get sick. 

So off we go to start the day. Woohoo!

Once Again I Need Help

My small group is going over to the old house on Sunday to help me finish cleaning and packing and moving. I hate needing so much help. I don't understand why I can't just do it on my own. Ugh. But at least there are people who will help. I can't imagine having no one to help when I really needed it. My friends and family in Christ are one of my biggest praises. My real family is fantastic, too. But the others do it just out of the love God is pouring through them. But the house should be done at least. I'm worried about going today to get the dresser out of Eric's dad's truck since it is super heavy and there will only be a few of us. AAHHHH!!!!!!

So I'm Late-Big Surprise

Yes, New Year's was a few days ago (five, but who's counting). And so far, it's just another day with a different number at the end. I didn't wake up to find myself in our old room; I didn't instantaneously look like. . .well, there are quite a few attractive actresses, but none that I'd like to look like since everyone's seen pretty much everything there is to see of them. While I was hoping to be out of the house by then (or at least wanting to get it over by then), that didn't happen. So I'm slowly doing the cleaning and the last sorting/packing, knowing I'm not going to get it done by Saturday when I start school and realizing I have only 11 more days to get it done and I don't know how I'm going to get the last few big things out of there. Not too scary until I realize Eric's stuff is still all there and he probably won't help me with any of the cleaning. "Babe, I'm working. I can't get time off. You know how this job is." Said of course in a deep boy voice with just a hint of hurt because you apparently don't care and exasperation that it has to be explained to you. Ugh.

So this year I will have to fully step out and trust God. That's my resolution, as it were, or at least would have been if I had bothered to do one. I start school on Saturday. I'm a little scared that employers will look at it as a short, abbreviated education as opposed to doing one of the 8 to 10 month long schools where you go all day every day. So going is in itself following God. To be given this chance by the owners of the school and a place to live and finding out that the owners are Christians. God didn't even have to hit me over the head with a 2x4 this time, though He did have to pretty much throw me out of the nest so I'd take the chance to fly. But on the upside I got a pretty lavender notebook, colored pens and pretty stickies to go along with my chic scrubs and white shoes with sparklies.  And now of course comes the worries over a job afterwards. And the daycare thing. And where to move to. So off to Matthew we go. Chapter 6 verse 34 is especially appropriate. But alas, same old worries, same old posts, same old blog.

Life right now is very fun. My room is still in boxes. The girls' has been unpacked. Unfortunately it was by them and only one dresser has been brought over so there are clothes everywhere, but hey. Randi and I are getting along pretty well, considering that I've been lazy and apathetic lately. I'm slowly getting better. Very slowly. But at least I'm not getting worse. Laelia's a hoot to work with. Sometimes it can be rather difficult to watch someone else's child, but at least she keeps things interesting. I've watched more anime in the last week than I ever expected to watch in my life. We've been Harry Pottering the last few nights, after a season of His and Her Circumstance and of course before that was Star Trek. We've learned that Randi's dog likes eggnog cookies and both the dog and the cat will eat peas. Of course, why wouldn't they? But it's time to go to bed, to sleep, perchance to dream. Well, okay, I haven't been that melancholy or depressed. Just an overload of Kenneth Branagh. We did learn that watching Harry Potter at 1.5 speed really did speed things up. Randi's dvd player will still play the audio and it didn't take 2.5 hours to get through the movie. Always nice to know. (Kenneth Branagh is in Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets, which we watched, if you're wondering where the jump came from. But he's also done several Shakespeares.)

Home Is Where The Heart Is

So we're moved. There's still some stuff at the old house and I have to clean it, but we're spending nights at the new place. It's definitely been interesting! Actually, I love it. Girls are so much more sensible than boys. I'm staying with a female friend who has three boys. Together we take care of the kids, cook, do laundry, clean. Everything. We've had minor congenial spats due to me not listening to what God has laid on her heart. She's offering to take care of something that I was not expecting and I'm having trouble letting go. I'm also not allowed to mention Sam's Club at the moment because of it. But usually we're laughing at each other during it. 

The girls are doing okay. During the day they're fine. Night they're still treating as a vacation, where you don't really have to listen to Mama or Miss Randi. It will be fixed, I just hope it doesn't take too long. Her boys are 6 (May of the same year as ClaireBeth), 4 1/2 (June the year before ZoeBel) and 2 1/2-ish (April before Vee). They're respectful, obedient and well mannered. I just hope my girls don't ruin them. ClaireBeth's school doesn't start until the 20th and I'm not sure if I'll put ZoeBel on the wait list. I should pray about it this week. They've still talked to Gee and Daddy and we've still seen Grandpa. So hopefully they realize most everything will stay the same for right now. I do need to figure out who might watch them on Saturdays while I'm at school.

I'm alright. Laelia's already been over here twice. It's another two-day work week because of New Year's. Things transitioned well. Charles doesn't seem to have a problem bringing her over here and Alexis hasn't picked her up yet. We'll see how it goes next week. Funwise we've watched a lot of Star Trek. Randi's a huge fan. We've played Wii. We've organized and put away. We've made menus and cooked. We've done laundry. Oh. I also live with my hairstylist so I now have highlights, something I never thought I'd do again. But they're subtle, they look nice and they should fade out as opposed to grow out. My hair's also pretty short. I told her if she kept cutting it she wouldn't have anything to cut later and I now think we're at that point. It's apparently not as bad as our friend's daughter's hair though. I'm getting excited about school. As a start of school gift Randi bought me two pair of scrubs, plus the pants that I asked her to pick up that started the scrub shopping spree. One shirt is really cute with white very light paisley-ish print accented with red and teal. The other is a Valentine heart shirt that is cute enough to wear in October. So school ought to be fun just for the new clothes I get to wear. Cleaning people's teeth and making molds for dentures is just a plus!

Well, off to start the day. Dad and Roger are helping me take everything left to Randi's or storage today. Woohoo! That plus I'm trying to finish The House by Ted Dekker and Frank Peretti. Not necessarily my favorite, too much Peretti influence. But oh well. Once I pick it up I usually like to finish it unless it's just too awful. Oh, and if you'd like to borrow a gaggle of girls for a Saturday while I go to school (8 to 5) let me know!

Feliz Navidid

So today was our big Christmas thing with my family. I don't know if we're having one with Eric's dad or not. Last year it was here and my niece had a stomach bug (as was evidenced by her throwing up on her presents, my hallway and the bathtub in the duckie bathroom!-poor thing). While we were spared the gastrointestinal pyrotechnics this year, Ziggy had a fever and slept most of it. I took my one of my best friends Charlie along to try and cheer him up since his girlfriend and another best friend Mia was in Missouri for Christmas. I think he cheered me up more than anything, though. He's great with the girls. He even went and picked out their presents (clothes!) all by himself. I got candles!

But this time of year is kind of hard, especially since it's the first year. Charlie and I haven't ever been interested in each other; he's more of a big brother that's exactly 2 months older. Try explaining that one. But it felt nice to have a guy around. Someone to wrestle with the girls and just another pair of hands to help out. I don't even know what to do about Eric anymore. Unfortunately I've even quit praying about it. Not because I don't think God can change things, but because things keep not getting changed and I feel so disheartened. So maybe that should be my new goal: to make an effort to pray for our marriage and just for Eric in general since I've been avoiding it. Sometimes someone will say something that is slightly negative concerning Eric and the situation. I joked one time that we'll get back together just because of how our friends and family would have to try to deal with the person they're grumpy with. We put notice in on the house, and unfortunately that just feels like one more permanent step closer. But God is a god of miracles. He is also our comforter and hope. So we march one, which unfortunately includes cleaning and packing, hoping all of our stuff will fit in a 5x10 space and two bedrooms, all while working late Monday and Tuesday, having the rest of the week and the weekend off and then having Laelie again on Monday.