A Day In The Life Of A Single Mama.

Or at least this mama. Today we woke up around 0600. Or at least I did. I think I got them up around 0615. We had one disagreement over clothes (since we got home late last night and didn't lay them out-which doesn't always help since usually SOMEONE (about 3 1/2 feet tall, blonde hair and blue eyes) who shall remain unnamed usually changes their mind. We ate breakfast and then left for school and work. We were late (which really means we were on time)but that doesn't usually happen. Tuesdays and Thursdays the wonderful people at preschool take ClaireBeth to school since I have to be at work by 0745. So I get to work where I have a very irritated, grumpy day. Because we left late last night the office was a mess this morning and none of my paperwork was done, which always makes things worse. Dr cleaned two of the rooms, but she never does it the way I do. Around 1000 VeeZee's teacher calls me to tell me that VeeZee was hit in the face with a hula hoop (we're guessing she walked into it). So now she looks like Rocky after a fight. Lovely. I make it through most of my day without getting fired-though I did have to leave the room a few times to accomplish it-and leave to get the girls. Their teacher at preschool has a final tonight and I try to get there so she's not late to class, which doesn't always happen. Poor Meemaw! When I get there they tell me that ZoeBel threw up. Not the end of the world. Until VeeZee throws up, too! Usually I take the girls back to work with me while I finish up with the last patient and do all my paperwork and clean everything up. Since VeeZee and I are covered in throw up I have to call and have one of the helpers tell her that I'm not coming back. Fun. So we came home, bugged Mr. Philip and took a bath. ClaireBeth and I snuck some food while the little girls were busy, since they're STILL throwing up. At least they're both old enough to get to the toilet (or at least the bathroom) to throw up. They're currently watching Dora and I'm wondering if I'm going to go to work all day tomorrow. Not that I have much of a choice. *sigh* Dora's over, so time to cuddle. Definitely one of the best perks of having three little princesses!

What a great weekend!

I haven't had such a great weekend in a while, though I have definitely had some good ones. It started with getting out of work on time Thursday. That very rarely happens, especially on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I have to go pick the girls up at 1730 every day. Tuesdays and Thursdays office hours end at 1700 but we still usually have patients when I leave to get the girls and so have to come back. Mondays and Wednesdays we're open until 1800. I come back on Mondays and work usually until almost 1900 (and sometimes later), though Wednesdays the girls and I have class or choir so we go straight to church from preschool. Anyway, back to this weekend!

We got out on time Thursday and went to Sam's club for pizza. One of our favorite stores combined with one of our favorite foods. How can you go wrong? Friday I took ClaireBeth to class and then went and did some paperwork that I still needed to do for her school. The little girls and I came home and cleaned up and then we took ClaireBeth to the doctor in San Diego for a rash (fun-don't worry, she's not contagious). After that we went to my parents' and spent the night. We made cookies and had a lot of fun! I even got to talk to my sister! (Roger's daughter who's about my age.)

Saturday I left the girls with my parents because they've missed the girls so much. I went to a much needed hair appointment with the awesome, fantastic, wonderful Marcella. It had been three months and you could definitely tell. Ugh. I still can't do it like she does, but I'm trying. Kind of. The I went to a cookie exchange and saw quite a few friends from The Fellowship. Ladies, I miss you! Then I came home and waited for Philip to come down. Even though I woke him up at 0630 and he left around 0700 he didn't get here until after 1400! Stupid LA traffic. When he got here we went looking for car parts (it seems to be a favorite past time of his), out to dinner at a nice Chinese place, shopping were we got a Christmas tree and then to church for the Christmas musical. It was a very fun, very busy day! Though I guess I should confess that I locked us out of the house. Twice! We take his car when he's here, so I didn't really need my keys. Until we got home and he realized that I didn't have them and so we couldn't get in. Thankfully the manager was home. Then we left to go shopping and took the little set with us (with the mail, laundry room and extra apartment (I thought) keys) so we could make an extra one for Philip's key chain. We forgot to make the extra but figured we were fine. Until I tried to unlock the door and realized that it was the key for the storage, not the apartment. And guess what, the manager was gone for the night! At this point I realized that I also forgot to give my parents the girls' car seats. Sometimes I am amazed at how blonde I am! I had called the manager and she called me back, thankfully, saying that someone could get in and give us the keys. Otherwise we were going to have to drive to San Diego to get keys and still drive down to pick the girls up the next day since I couldn't get into the van for the car seats. So, disaster averted. Whew!

Sunday we drove down to pick up the girls and picked out ornaments for the tree. This year its red and silver. I've never had red before because Eric really didn't like it. At home we ate lasagna and watched the Little Einstein's Christmas DVD that Philip bought for the girls. We decorated the tree (during which Philip did like five years' worth of updates on the computer) and hung the lights outside. Then we ate lots of cookies from the cookie swap! And in the process of rescuing the new movie that ZoeBel got stuck in a funny place we found Barbie in The 12 Dancing Princesses that we've been missing for over a year! So Philip has since started the five hour drive home and we are watching Barbie in the glow of our Christmas lights while I blog about a great few days. They weren't without frustration, but we definitely had something to laugh about.

Philip

So, to continue a chapter that has had a few surprise turns. Apparently a girlfriend with three girls can be a bit to take on all at once, even though you've just spent the last nine months talking to her everyday and think that she and the girls are fantastic. So Philip decided that we weren't dating. This was especially hard because he wanted to be a part of the girls' lives that early and that's why I introduced them to him. For someone who's been single for so long like he has I can understand. I let it be for a few days and then curiosity got the best of me and I called him and asked if we could actually talk about it (and to ask him to ship my makeup, favorite razor and tweezers and the load of laundry that were left up there). So we did and we've decided to talk and see each other but to remove the girls from the situation for right now. He loves the girls to death but I chose this to protect them. I wouldn't have brought him in so quickly if he hadn't wanted to be. And to be fair to the girls his problem is just more with the whole picture than with them. But it seems safest for them so they don't get more attached than they already are.

So just an update on that. It seemed quite dire at the beginning of the week but has levelled out some. Thank goodness for maturity and reason! The ability to sit down and talk to someone about the problem is amazing. And definitely not what I'm used to.

So what's going on...

I started this almost two weeks ago and am just going from there, so it might seem messed up, but you'll have to deal :)

Hmm, where to start? Well, it's a quarter till 9 and I hear a two-and-a-half-year-old and a seven-year-old playing tea set. Did I mention it was 9 PM? I think back about my day and marvel at the good and the not so good. I went to ClaireBeth's parent/teacher conference. She's doing very well. Great grades, great conduct. The usual. But I wonder how she's really doing. I hear a lot that she's well adjusted. Sometimes I wonder if she's already learning to fake it like I do all the time. Like many of us do.


Thinking about how well ClaireBeth is doing makes me think about ZoeBel. Already I can see that this blog is going to seem random and ill-organized. I think I'm okay with that today. ZoeBel is sick. A fever and a cough, mostly. Though she did throw up tonight, but I think that was my fault. I was brushing her teeth and might have gagged her. But ZoeBel's different. She is so sweet and open and begging to be loved. It's hard to fill her up constantly. Especially with working all the time. I have a hard enough time going to GOD for love and contentment, which just makes telling the girls to go to HIM even harder. ZoeBel is smart, but she has this streak that can turn mean and hard and bitter if not tempered. I just have no clue how to help her at this point. It makes me very scared for her future.


VeeZee is just VeeZee. Sometimes I think there's a stranger in the house. I've lived with her for three years and I feel like I barely even know her. Part of it is how much she's growing and changing at this stage. She does something new and unexpected at least a couple of times a week. And unfortunately I usually miss it.I don't see how people can stand choosing to have children and then putting them into daycare. Don't get me wrong and please don't take it personally. I know that sometimes circumstances change and you might have to work or sometimes a child is a surprise (been there and done that with both situations!). But I'm missing my children grow up and it makes me so sad. I feel like I'm cheating VeeZee out of her toddlerhood and me out of mamahood.


Umm, on to me, I guess. Well, I've been divorced for two weeks come tomorrow (yea me?). That first day I felt sick and disgusted like I'd physically been torn in two. I guess hence the verses about us becoming as one flesh. The next day I kind of went back to normal. It helps, I guess, that we were divorced on the 27th, which was four days short of a year since he left. Also, my friend Philip came down. But more about him later. That day, though, I picked the girls up from school early and went home and slept. Philip and the girls and I went out to dinner that night and I went back to work the next day and the world went on. It's actually pretty sad. Who's Philip? Philip is a great guy that I became friends with in February. We went to the same church for a year or so but never actually met. Gotta love facebook! So we started talking and became friends. Then we started talking about dating if/when the divorce finalized. Which it did. I'm still not sure if we're dating or not but we're having fun, considering we live 5 hours apart.

Work is still work. I'm up in front a lot more, where I feel completely inadequate to be. Not that there's too much choice. We had an intern for a while but she didn't work out and so now I'm doing front and back again. I like the office and I like the work I just hate being away from the girls.

I found a great church home for us. Or rather, GOD brought us to a great church home. I'm taking a bible class and the big girls are doing choir. ClaireBeth has a solo, which I think is hilarious since she sings about as well as I do, which is not that well. But they love it and I love that they love worship and praise music. I just wish they made music that I liked a little more. Dang Christians, being so moderate!

So I'm done avoiding cleaning for right now. Have a great day!

Hmm...

So I want to blog. I miss blogging. I keep thinking of things to blog about, or at least trying to. I've lost that up-beat, slightly sarcastic, poking-fun at myself but still entertaining tone that I used to have. It's been gone for about 11 months. Wow, it's actually gone by fast.

There's not a whole lot going on. Eric is still insistent on the divorce. It should be finalized in the next month or so. I kept hoping he'd change his mind but I really doubt that's going to happen. I quit praying for it just because I doubted it so much. Oh me of little faith. I know GOD has the ability to do anything and can soften the hardest heart. And HE still can. So I'll start praying. That our marriage is restored? I don't know. After it's final I won't remarry Eric unless he were to make GOD the center of his life (if the subject ever came up which I doubt it will :P). But that at least Eric realize there is someone who loves him way more than anyone on this earth can.

Work is there. I went to San Francisco with Dr. for the California Dental Association. We had a lot of fun, I learned a good bit and we went to see King Tut! Very cool! We're trying to get some people to help me, but now we have so many people that it's an even bigger mess. We have two high school volunteers who are just trying to pad their resume. They're seniors, though, so I'm not sure how much good it will do them. One is doing special stuff in the front. Another is an intern from a dental assistant who wants back. So I'm switching somewhat to front when she's there. If she stays. She's a single mom with two kids.

The girls are doing well, what I see of them. ClaireBeth is really enjoying school and going to a birthday party on Tuesday for one of her really good friends. ZoeBel and VeeZee are doing really well in preschool. They're both doing very well with the stuff they should be learning. ZoeBel is doing basic addition. VeeZee is counting and as long as she's counting something she does okay. Mainly I love that Meemaw and Papi love all three girls.

So that's about it. We've had a lot of friends move recently, but we've been spending more time with family. One of my best friends comes back from deployment next month. I have a cat who loves me, even if she's not that into the girls (can you blame her-just kidding!). But yup. That's about it. I've missed you guys and hope everyone's well!

Most Difficult People To Deal With

This was sent by one of my favorite people in the world. She has been a great mentor and source of love for years.

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT!

I am sure that you had encountered some people whom you find most difficult to deal with. Perhaps this reminds you of someone as you read this. Your problems with them are not really due to how they are, but rather due to how you respond to how they are. People are different. Therefore, it is highly recommended that you learn their "language" to communicate. Learn to deal successfully with difficult people, and you learn valuable lessons about yourself. People are the way they are. Get past the need to try to change them, past the need to judge or condemn, and look for the value they offer. If you happen to pray for them, do not pray that they would be changed. Rather, pray that you would be transformed so that you will discover hidden value in them, and that you learn how to deal with them. In every difficult person you encounter, make a point to look past the difficult part and focus your attention on the person part. So, we can conclude they are your teachers! Through their difficulties you see things within yourself. And it takes courage to view yourself through them. But the rewards exceed the overcoming the fear.

"The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold, but the Lord test the heart." (Pv 17:3)

Walk with the King and be a blessing!

Sometimes It's Not Fun Being A Big Person

This was just an irritating week at work. That's a lot of it. The repetitiveness of work completely makes me ignore the repetitiveness of the up-keep of the house. Monday I was there until after 2000. ClaireBeth was supposed to get some sealants done and instead ended up having a tooth that needed three fillings! Tuesday, Wednesday and today were long, too. I was almost able to go home after picking up the girls but I couldn't find something expensive. I finally found it, and still somehow ended up working until 1930.

On an up note, VeeZee is progressing quite well at potty training. I put her in panties and plastic pants on Friday and she's been in them since. After getting the hang of it, which took a few days, she's had one accident a day. At least with pee (I'm not sure how to put that delicately). We're not really getting anywhere with the other. She doesn't quite realize what her body's telling her. But it's been less than a week.

I'm also looking at trying some new recipes tomorrow. Snickerdoodles and cream puff cake. I'll let you know how they go.

A Sweet Saturday

So today was nice. I got up very early and got to email with one of my best friends. The living portion of the living room (it's split into living/office by the couch/chair) is clean, even if there are still boxes to unpack. It's mostly the girls' stuff or random junk that I'm not really sure why we have or where it should go. But I'd rather it sit in the living room and me hopefully get rid of it as opposed to stuffing it in the storage closet and moving it to the next place we move, whether it be a month, a year or a decade from now. And the exercise bike that I had to have and Eric was sweet enough to get me even though he knew I'd never use it-it sat in his closet for a year-and-a-half to two years. The office portion if the living room is still a mess, but I'll do that tonight, after I do some dishes, since we have no clean ones left. I'm amazed at how little enthusiasm I have for cleaning the house now that I spend 10 hours a day cleaning at work. It's even worse than it was before! But then I could get up at 0500 and clean before the girls got up because I knew I could take a nap. There amazingly aren't naps when you work. Some days there aren't even lunches! But the girls played today. I added some photos to facebook if you'd like to see. They watched a movie while I took a nap with Patches. We tried out the park, which is a decent walk from here. We didn't stay long because I'm such a white girl and even in the shade I felt my shoulders getting hot. And unfortunately ZoeBel is like me. ClaireBeth was blessed with Eric's skin tone. Let's just hope she doesn't have his skin problems when she's a teenager. VeeZee is a throw back to my dad. I can safely say that only because I'm sure Eric's her dada, otherwise I'd be wondering myself. She has the same hair and eyes I had when I was little, but she's blessed with a beautiful tan all year round. And some say "Well, you live in sunny SoCal." It'd be the same if we lived in Michigan. Not that I would like to test that theory. So we're home from the park and it's now time to figure out dinner, since I didn't look at the menu and take any meat out. Wish me luck, and let's hope I can come up with something more interesting than spaghettios!

Adventures In Dentistry: Trying To Do Your Own Kids' Cleanings.

So the girls were a month or so overdue for their cleanings and exams. Dr and I finally found a spot for them.

We try to get ZoeBel to go, partly because we have to do impressions for an appliance to help her stop sucking her thumb. She refuses so ClaireBeth goes. ClaireBeth who's been doing this for five years and is a pro. ZoeBel's been doing it for three. but acts like she's never seen the inside of a dentist's office in her life (which is hilarious since she goes to work with me all the time). I finally convince her to let me clean her teeth. She ends up standing up, leaning over my leg. Then when Dr. comes in from finishing ClaireBeth, who was a perfect angel-which is why Dr. got her and I got ZoeBel, I end up having to hold ZoeBel in my lap. And she still balked! But we got her done. Now we just have to take impressions tomorrow!

Vee I actually ended up chasing through the office. It was after hours, I promise! I would have just let her go, otherwise. I had to strap her down with my arms and legs and pry her mouth open, but we at least got the front clean. You should have seen her when ClaireBeth got three prizes for her cleaning, exam and going first without crying and ZoeBel got two prizes for her cleaning and exam. But she still wouldn't let us clean or look anymore. Stubborn child! And did I mention that I bribed ZoeBel? I did. I told her if she did her impressions without fussing or crying then I'd buy her a new pony or groovy girl. I know, I'm horrible. But I'm hoping $10 now will save $100s or possibly $1000s down the line. Not likely, but we shall see. Another reason I became a dental assistant-we get good discounts.

What To Blog, What To Blog...

I'm sure no one even reads this anymore since postings are so sporadic and they've all kind of sounded the same. I've started a few posts, but half-way through I'll decide that I shouldn't or don't want to post them. While a blog is fun, you have to be careful what you put in it. Sometimes things can come back and bite you in the rear. Same with facebook. So I don't complain about work. I don't share my frustration about Eric. I don't tell y'all that if I hear "Mama" one more time I'm going to take all of their plastic toys and melt them in the chemiclave at work. Oops, shouldn't have let that one slip out...oh well.

So Life. Well, it's going. And at this point it's a little bit lonely. Randi has moved the Maryland, she's actually been there since May. She's about 4 months along with their fourth baby. Her husband is doing recruiting duty. Charlie and Mia, my best friends from high school, moved to Maryland in June. She was going to graduate school in LA. She was there for a good two or three years. I finally went and visited in May. Isn't that sad?! I was very glad when they moved from LA, just sad that they moved so far away. They're trying to get me to move out there with them. Bill and Sarah moved to Virginia. Bill got transferred to Washington, D.C.The person I talk to the most is on a boat somewhere in the middle of the ocean. It's through email. Thank goodness for email. And facebook. blogging is nice, too, but that requires that you actually do it. ;)

Since some of you don't know, Eric and I went back to mediation, where a counselor helps us figure out a parenting schedule. The girls are still living with me, we just had to work out what to do when Eric's schedule changes in October. We did find out that the divorce could be final as early as late-October/early-November. My lovely husband asked if we could move that particular court date sooner. Lovely.

Work is work. Doctor and I are going to San Francisco in September for a dental convention. I get to go to seminars/take classes, so it should be fun. It's still just her and I. And I'm horrible at insurance so unfortunately it falls to her to do. Mainly we just haven't had time to teach me and let me do it with her to make sure I know what I'm doing. She only wants me to work 40 hours a week, and you run out of hours when you work 10 hour days. This week is light. Maybe I can go in on Friday so we can work on that. That plus it's good to know as much front office as possible, even if you work back.

Umm, what else. I was sick for two days last week and got to take time off work. Yea! Everyone loves that! ClaireBeth starts school in less than three weeks. 2nd grade-very scary! I can't believe she just turned 7. ZoeBel and VeeZee are doing well, as is ClaireBeth. We're getting into somewhat of a normal routine. I know, about time. I guess I haven't been too diligent because I know it's going to change when ClaireBeth goes to school, and now in October when Eric has more time it will really change, but only for 6 weeks, then it changes again. Like VeeZee isn't potty trained yet just because I know I don't have enough time together to do it. Which is sad, she could have been potty trained months ago. ZoeBel no longer needs training pants at night though. Yea, ZoeBel!

Well, I'm off to eat my chicken nuggets and go back to bed. If you bother to read this anymore, leave me a comment so I know you're out there.