Some days. . .

My mom came over to help today, but we got into an arguement as usual. I don't know what it is about her that makes me act like this. She usually ends up instigating and I get in trouble for doing it with her. How fair is that? Anyway, so she left at 0800. I called a friend up in Fallbrook and asked if we could help her today instead of tomorrow. She said yes, so up we went. I haven't driven up the 15 in a long time. I forgot how stretched out it is. We helped Erin for six hours. I don't actually know how big a help I was, what with Ziggy drawing on a book, strewing flowers all over the house, and using a little potty because they didn't have a potty seat and Vee trying to pick up Baby Jared twice, but I tried. And poor Travis was always off running errands. I wonder why?

We left and I gave in and got Carl's Jr. The sad part is is that I like their food. When we get home, a friend calls about a bible study I was thinking about going to. I told her "No, thanks." I was tired, the girls were fussy-a polite way of saying that they act like horrible uncivilised heathens at other people's houses-and it was movie then bed time. But the girls wanted to go. Don't get me wrong, I don't cater to the girls. Ever. It's not easier to give them stuff because I don't want to hear them whining and crying. If you give it to them, it just means you'll hear it all the next time you say-or try to say-no. If I don't want to hear it they go to their rooms and I turn on music or a movie. So after affirmation that they would act well as opposed to the boogers they had been, we were off.

Traffic in that direction is usually horrible. There wasn't a single brakelight the entire way. I didn't have a book. I was able to borrow one. I did have to pay for a babysitter, and I shouldn't have payed her the whole amount-she was late, didn't notice that Ziggy peed on someone's bed and didn't offer any of the kids drinks-but I'm hoping someone will work out a babysitting co-op among all the small groups. I've suggested it but no one's listening. That happens. Over all, though, it was fantastic. It's through a meetup, so I was a little worried about the people, whether I would fit in, but I loved the ladies and felt like God had me there for a reason.

And throughout this all is Eric. He's supposed to have today (Friday) off. Then he calls and says he wants to go out with the guys. I don't necessarily mind, I'm just not fond of what most of the guys do. And I trust my husband. He needs to get clothes-he works an hour away-but they want to go out up where they're working. Which means he would come down to get clothes, go up to go out and come back down. Then he tells me doesn't have the day off. At this point I'm rather irritated. I have to fight tooth and nail to get Eric to watch the kids. Honestly I'm exhausted mentally and physically. I almost never go out without them. The last time I even came close someone else's husband watched two of them. I had bible study I could have gone to without worrying about babysitting or a girls craft night. So he goes out and I get a little mad. He calls later and says "I'm coming home. I don't have to be in until 4:30 p.m. (I have to insert p.m. because he usually has to be there at 0445 am)." And he's wearing new clothes and shoes. Instead of coming home he went shopping. Sometimes I don't know what to do. I really don't. Don't get me wrong, we're fine. Nothing's leading anywhere, except maybe me to the nuthouse. Just how can two people be together this long (3/4 of a decade) and still have no clue what to do with the other person? In my case I pray; about how I'll talk to him without blowing up; how I'll forgive him for something he doesn't even know or need to know that upset me; how I won't beat him just to work off frustration (just kidding-but pugil stick therapy does work, I'm sure). That being said, he's great. Just different than I am. And I'm supposed to submit to him, not the other way around. Guess I'll have to keep working on that!