The Man Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally, the guys' side of the story.
We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules! Please note, these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in
an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have
to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and
neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows
default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin
is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We
will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer
to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you
are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them a bigger laugh.


My husband sent this to me, which is an oddity because I didn't know he even had an email address. If there are any mistakes, remember, a man wrote this and a woman can only correct so much. I still haven't seen "our" rules, but the guys think we have them out there some where. This must make them feel better.