What Have I Done?

So there's a girl in ZoeBel's class that's not the nicest. She's not the head of the class. She's not the prettiest. But she's got Queen Bee and Mean Girl written all over her. She manipulates. She's alternately hot and cold toward the people who try to be nice to her. She has the top boy in the class (who'a kinda cute, too) wrapped around her little finger. Other moms dread their kiddos playing with her because of how she makes everyone feel. ZoeBel had her party this weekend, too. We had a good few kids that came since some were sick, some had been camping all weekend, it was Memorial Day and sometimes plans simply change. The other little girl's party was on Sunday. And two people came. It made me want to cry when I found out today. And then I found out ZoeBel was invited. When I asked her she said, "It was just _______. You don't like me playing with her anyway." And I wonder what kind of mother I am.

We've discussed this particular girl with ZoeBel before. How maybe she shouldn't hang out with her all the time but we still need to be nice to her and show her Christ's love. but PLEASE don't spend a lot of time with her or start acting like her. I've even suggested we invite her over for a play-date. ZoeBel was not too enthusiastic. I'm nice to her when I volunteer at school on Fridays. And this made me want to bawl my eyes out. I've never made friends easily. I'm socially awkward and flat out just weird. I'm uncomfortable in my own skin. I remember when my cousin asked why I didn't wear something since I liked it and I told her I wasn't confident enough. As I'm typing someone commented on a post on FB that I originally brought up-she agreed with the two people who commented on what I'd suggested. And I get upset. Now if I'd known about the party I would have urged ZoeBel to go. I worry that we don't have their friends over a lot.

So maybe it's time for another talk with ZoeBel. And time to schedule a play date with the mean girl. As it is I think I've only seen the girl's mama once, maybe twice. maybe that has something to do with it. Or maybe I'll meet another mean girl. All I know is parenting is hard, sometimes we never grow up and I wonder what that mama thought about no one coming to her little girl's party-I know how I would have felt...