Sunday, February 28, 2010

So It's My Birthday

I turned 26 today. I don't like it. I'm officially no longer in my early 20s, no matter how I twist the numbers. I am actually frighteningly close to my late 20s which is just a hop away from 30, which is a skip away from my early thirties and is barely a jump to my mid 30s and then on to 40. 25 didn't bother me. 24 did a little bit just because it is two dozen (what can I say, I bake a lot, or at least I used to).

So I'm not going to go over the last year. Unfortunately this blog is somewhat censored. I don't write about everything that comes up or how I feel because a lot of it still has to do with Eric. Some of it is not for me to tell people about. Part of it is me still trying to protect him and not talk about him in a way that would be disrespectful or would effect other peoples' feelings about him, though I know a lot of people that read this don't actually know him (as if anyone really reads this-ha!). I hate the fact that I hurt him so much and really regret that I probably pushed him farther from GOD. I would give anything to undo what I've done.

So this year...I have no clue what's going to come.

Philip and I decided together that parting ways wasn't a bad idea. We'd talked about this for a few weeks and I wanted to start the year anew. I have some regrets, though nothing that Philip caused. All were decisions I made. The best I can do after making those choices is to learn from them and go forward. I do regret introducing him to the girls. Not that he wasn't wonderful with them, but they don't need people coming in and out of their lives, especially because of me. We had talked for several months before we introduced him to them. Living so far apart made it difficult to see each other without them around, and that's a long time to be away from the girls. All in all it was a learning experience and hopefully we'll stay friends. I don't know, it doesn't really happen but we can see.

What birthday is complete without a party? The girls and I started celebrating last night with schnitzel and cinnamon rolls. They did my hair (I'm hoping there was no film in their camera) and we played games followed by a round of DuckTales. This morning we went to Denny's and I got a free grand slam. How cool was that? We went to Wal-Mart to pick up ZoeBel's birthday present-don't ask, her birthday is in June but I got it and I hate waiting-then we went to David's Bridal to try to pick up a dress for my two best friends' wedding. Yup, they're marrying each other. So I could either wear a dress or a tux! I ended up standing on the bride's side so I get the dress. Which David's Bridal apparently does not carry in my size. Next was a party with my parents and aunt and uncle. Ham and blondies with a side of york peppermint patties. Yum! It's kind of hard because a lot of my best friends moved away this last year. Doesn't mean I'm less loved, just means I didn't get to party as much this year.

So I'd better get my old self to bed. I ended up taking last week off because the girls were sick. I loved being home with them again but the weekly routine starts back up in 10 or 11 hours. So to all a good night. Wait...that's Christmas. Oh well.


Randi Legates said...

I miss you Jess. Sorry I can't be there for you.... But hey if you really want to start a new, you can always come here??

But I really am sorry, and I really do miss you, a bunch, and a lot.

Melissa Rowe said...

Happy belated birthday! Sorry I missed it. I knew your birthday was a month before Steve's, doh!

26 is a weird age isn't it? When I realized Steve was turning 26 this month I thought, "WHAT? You're going to be 26? were 19 when I met you." I still think of him as being around 20 or something, haha. Which is funny, because I'll be 25 so it's not really much different. I am trying to soak up 24. I think just like you. According to me, I am already 45. ;)

Anyway, thanks for more baby stuff too. :-D