Monday, June 30, 2008
PS Sorry I used bad words but it was fitting at the moment.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Monday, June 16, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Saturday, June 14, 2008
The title is Overcoming Feeling Unloved. I feel it more now because the little girls are clingy and dependent (normal for just turned three and one), Eric is at work or asleep 95 % of the time and I don't have a best friend as it were. Every time I feel like this the house becomes a disaster, I get easily frustrated and snappy with the girls and Eric doesn't have the energy to deal with the way I'm acting when he comes home so he doesn't even bother, which usually means that we spend less time together which just makes everything worse.
Obviously I've been trying to fill a need in my life with my family. Sometimes I shop to avoid the house and so I don't have to be alone with the girls (note: this does not work since they're exhausted from being out and about all day and they melt down and I explode). I read to escape. I eat worse and definitely don't exercise, not that that happens much anyway. Since I'm gone all the time the house falls farther behind so I don't want to be there. It's a hard cycle to break. And all through the misery and pain I hear a voice saying "Talk to me. I love you. I always have and always will. You are my precious daughter whom I ransomed from a life like this and yet you still choose to live like this. Let me help you."
Only God can love you unconditionally. No matter what you've done or are doing right now can turn God away from you. We might think we have this kind of love on earth but humans are weak. Feelings change, people move, bodies die. God is trying to woo you constantly. He loves you and wants you to know Him and love Him too. He doesn't need it. He desires it. He desires you.
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whoever believes in Him shall have everlasting life. John 3:16. Meaning that God loved us so much that He let His son die to pay for all of the things that separated you and me and everyone from Him. Whoever believes that and accepts that and lives their life in God will have life with Him on earth and after we die. For someone who loves like that our feelings-which are not truth or concrete-can look rather silly I'm sure.
If you ever feel alone or unloved, know that God is there waiting for you to call out to Him. You don't know what to say, just tell Him you are there and want to be with Him.
The following is a song by Steven Curtis Chapman called Live out Loud. Sometimes I live as though I'm not one of God's children, knowing of His love and that He has a plan for me. This reminds me of that feeling.
Imagine this…I get a phone call from Regis
He says, “Do you want to be a millionaire?”They put me on the show and I win with two lifelines to spare
Now picture this…I act like nothing ever happened
And bury all the money in a coffee can
Well, I’ve been given more than Regis ever gave away
I was a dead man who was called to come out of my grave
And I think it’s time for makin’ some noise
Friday, June 13, 2008
Since I wrote about Ziggy on her birthday I'll write about Vee now. Vee's 16 months old. Actually she hit 16 months the same day Ziggy turned three as they're 20 months apart exactly. I remember waking up that morning at a quarter to 4 and saying "Okay God, we might as well have her today. It will be easy to remember and they'll all end in zeros. Let's go, let's go, let's go." He laughed at me and let me wait almost 13 hours before I had her. I had been hoping for January 20th. It was 4 weeks early but as long as she was healthy that fit in the pattern, all starting with Js and having a 10, a 20 and a 30. Am I the only one who notices patterns like that? Sometimes I feel like Harold Crick in Stranger Than Friction just not as good at math.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
P.S. Like a dork I can't get my xD card to work, so when Eric gets home I'll get pictures up. I hope.
Monday, June 9, 2008
So today I'll try again. I'll get up in about two hours, take a shower and get dressed. Then I'll go out to the car, get my bible study bag and read at least some of the two chapters I've had two weeks to read in Having a Mary Heart In A Martha World. It's a great book, but it deals with busyness, which is not my problem. Do they have any bible studies on laziness? I'll have to check that out. After that I'll work in the kitchen. Monday is my free day but the kitchen really needs it.
So as to cleaning, I set one day for one type of room. Mondays are free, for like a set time to work on laundry or hall closets or an area that really needs it. Tuesdays are kitchen days, with the floor scrubbing and wall wiping. Wednesdays are living room/dining room/toy room, with the dusting and a little reorganization. Thursdays are bathroom days, with the tubs and the floor scrubbing and the wall wiping. Fridays are bedrooms with the sheet changing and the dusting. Hopefully it all takes me less than an hour, because I start at 6:00 and the girls get up at 7:00. If I have to vacuum I usually do it after I take ClaireBeth to school though. No use trying to make the neighbours hate us, I'm sure they don't need any help.
Then I hope to get a chance to play with the girls. It seems like all I do is try to clean or hide. Some days hiding wins. They should make you fill out an application to be allowed to have children, seriously.
So here's to praying and hoping I have a productive day. It might just change the whole week.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Finally, the guys' side of the story.
We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules! Please note, these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have
to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and
neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin
is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We
will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer
to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
you wear is fine... Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you
are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them a bigger laugh.
My husband sent this to me, which is an oddity because I didn't know he even had an email address. If there are any mistakes, remember, a man wrote this and a woman can only correct so much. I still haven't seen "our" rules, but the guys think we have them out there some where. This must make them feel better.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
*I don't trip over the scale in the middle of the night that my secretly weight-obsessed wife left out.
*There aren't tampons with three different colored wrappers all over the place because I can lock the cabinet so Baby doesn't get into them. Why do they need three different colors anyway?
*No one cares if I leave the toilet seat up just once.
*There's no hair on the counter.
*I can empty out the 15 bottles of product in the shower. Good old Zest is all you need.
*It doesn't matter what color towel I use to wash my face dry my hands or after a shower.
*I always put the toothpaste away.
*No one's yelling for me to bring more toilet paper because the baby threw it in the wet bathtub.
Obviously these are written by the wife, and we won't include the gross ones.
Monday, June 2, 2008
*I can leave my bible study stuff out and open next to me for when I wake up.
*I can use all the blankets I want because the Human Heater isn't next to me yelling "It's burning up!!!!!"
*I don't have to walk around the bed to go to the bathroom. Even when I was pregnant Eric always ended up closer to the bathroom.
*No one else is going to complain about the cracker crumbs left by the girls when they were watching a movie.
*I only have to clear off the floor on one side of the bed.
*I can turn the TV off without someone waking up and turning it back on for the noise.
*I can have drinks on both nightstands with no questions as to how many cups I need in one room, now that I have a nightstand. Eric won that battle until we moved down here and we bought a new bedroom set. I traded the dresser mirror for a second nightstand.
*I don't have to worry about how bad my morning breath is.
*I don't have to worry about how bad his morning breath is.
*I don't have to kick anyone that I can't lift out of my bed on the off chance that I want to make the bed.
*Since the TV is in our room and we usually watch a movie before we go to bed (we don't have channels) I can watch whatever I like. Yea!!! No more Adam Sandler!!!
Check back later for Why it's great not to have to share a bathroom. Just kidding, that's probably what he would have posted when I went to Alabama!