Saturday, November 29, 2008


At this point, I am. I'm mad that Eric left. That I have no job and no schooling. That someone else is going to have to raise my daughters so that I can feed them. That my oldest is crying for someone that won't come. That I'm the only one to take care of the girls. That I don't know what to do. That I didn't know what to do before and that's why we ended up here. That San Diego's so expensive. That I don't live in either of the cities I could move to and so don't know where to start looking for a job. That Eric isn't willing to work it out. That God isn't fixing it right away. That God might not fix it so that I can grow. That the house is a mess all the time because I'm exhausted trying to keep up with three girls all day. That I spend more time cleaning than playing with the girls because the house is always a mess. That no matter what I do Eric isn't reconsidering. That I ever got into this mess in the first place. That I feel like my prayers are bouncing off the sky. That I'm mad at God-or at least frustrated because I don't know what's next.

So this is edited quite a bit. I posted the unabridged version but came back and took out some parts. Even if I'm upset and mad and hurt, Eric is still my husband and I should respect him, even if I don't agree with his choices. But I am normal, don't worry, I am quite irritated with him.

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