Well, I might as well let everyone know since the situation doesn't seem to be getting any better. Eric has asked for a divorce. The girls will stay with me (one of the disadvantages to being active duty military from his point). One good thing is that they will continue to go to church and learn about God and grow in their relationships with Him. Other than that I don't see any upsides to this right now. I'm not positive where I will go with three little girls who should be close to their daddy. I was offered one opportunity (I spell this word wrong every time) but will have to pray about it. It's a big scary step, but just about everything is at this point.
So basically I'm heart broken. A lot of the problems were my fault (not loving Eric as Christ loves us, putting too many of my expectations on him, getting upset when he was always at work when he was always at work to make a better life for us, being critical), and he is past the point of trying to work things out. And while I'm not the only one that messed up, I knew better due to God's teaching. The worst part is that I've learned so much since we started having major problems and I'm wondering why I learned it if I can't use it to work on the problem. I would still like to try to work through our problems but he is refusing. And now the girls will be affected beyond belief. So right now I reaffirm that their daddy loves them very much and I pray about the situation. He just finished a cycle and they are off for the week, so maybe he'll see them more-I hope.
And this throws everything up into the air-at least from my perspective. Where the girls and I will live. How I will earn a living for us. How I will get though this. I know God has a plan, I just hate being the last to know! Eric told the girls this morning. They were already upset because they hadn't seen him much in the last few weeks, and their behavior took another dip after he told them. So here I go at being an officially single mom. I'm thinking things are going to get even harder than they were with him just being at work all the time.