Thursday, October 9, 2008

I about scared myself silly.

I started watching Laelia today. It went really well. We took the big girls to school. We played. We went to the store. We ate. We slept. We picked the big girls up. Then her mama came and we did her stretches. She only fussed once when she was hungry. She's a mellow baby who's a lot of fun to be around. I was just at kind of a loss as to what to do with her. She doesn't move a lot. Her arms can move up and down somewhat and she can kind of grab things. But her elbows don't bend. It will take some getting used to. Her mama and I were talking about discipline. While we were talking I realized how much hope she still has that Laelia will be mobile. I wondered when I stopped thinking like that. After Laelia was born we were all told so that we could pray for her. But eventually requests get pushed to the end of the list or dropped or you're just praying them out of habit. Or at least I do. But tomorrow God could say "Okay my precious child. Get up and walk." I guess I figured if she did walk it would be a while before then and it wouldn't be through an instantaneous miraculous healing. It would be a miracle, but take a lot of work too. Oh me of little faith. God is far beyond our understanding. And it may be His plan for her to be like this. No matter what, He does have a plan.

So as to scaring myself. I am getting paid to watch Laelia. I actually feel a bit crummy about it, especially since I knew them before I started watching her. But last night I started thinking about stuff that goes along with regular pay. Like taxes (I know, very scary!). And what if we no longer qualify for preschool? WIC I can live without, though it does save us a good bit of money. I still don't know if we'll make too much. But preschool is entirely different! I have to have preschool!!! Really I could get along without it, I'd just rather not. So I called and we're okay, we still qualify. I still don't know what's up with taxes, but we'll figure that out. I prayed that God would tell me what to do about tithing (Eric refuses to even consider thinking about the thought of it) and I got Laelia (I hate calling it a job when really it's a sweet little girl). I just never thought about all the other stuff. I just wanted to show God how much I appreciate all that He's given us and acknowledge that He's the one taking care of us, but "Then give back to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's." (Matt 22:21) and "Thou shall not steal." (Exodus 20:15) and "These six things does the LORD hate: yes, seven are an abomination to him: . . . a lying tongue, . . . " (Prov 6:16&17) kept popping into my head, even though I wasn't planning on lying or stealing. Sometimes it's hard doing the right thing, especially if it hadn't occurred to you until it was too late. Unfortunately I was rambling about this to Laelia's mama, so now she probably thinks I'm an insane tax evader/preschool cheater!

No comments: