Saturday, October 25, 2008


As I sit here at my computer that just decided to work again (I think someone from AT&T read my last blog, realized I hadn't had it fixed and started messing with it again), and think about the day to come, it's very easy to start focusing on the irritations. When I think about yesterdays it's even easier to think about those frustrations (mascara, a 20-month-old and a sister who opens doors for her do NOT mix!!!). But I realized my thinking is totally off.

At bible study one of the gals, Mayra who unfortunately is leaving for Okinawa soon, loved a quote recently. It was "Praise Him through the lice." It's about two Christ-following women in a concentration camp who are positively infested with lice, so bad that they were on their arm hair. One can't stand it anymore, and the other says to just hold on and praise God. So they start talking to the other women in their house and start spreading the Word. They start having mini bible studies. All because of the lice. The guards wouldn't come in because they didn't want to be infested. And while nothing in our life is that bad, minor irritations and your response can really bring you farther from God.

So I'm thankful. Thankful that Eric and I both have jobs. We don't really see the turn to the economy like other people do. Eric won't get fired. We see prices going up and quality going down, not that that hasn't been happening for a while. But we know that his job is secure. I started working this month. I'm very thankful for that. First, I get to watch Laelia, who is fantastic! I can tithe! This also gives us a chance to do some of the big stuff sooner. My mom-mobile needs new shoes. Us girls and our shoes. Eric's car needs brakes (I love him enough to want his car to stop, so I guess we'll replace those). We can start paying stuff off. A lot of people can't say that right now.

I have three gorgeous, healthy girls who still like me, though I won't take any bets when they realize they can't have phones or wear makeup. I irritate them and they irritate me. It's easy to just go through the motions without stopping and focusing on them, but God really blessed me with these three girls. I can't find the verse I want, but will look for it some more. Hah, found it. It was on the wall like 10 feet from me. Go figure. Psalm 127:3 Children are a gift from the Lord.

And I have a God who loves me no matter what I do. A God who forgives everything and still uses me. Don't get me wrong. God doesn't just love you and say "Okay, go about your life without Me, doing what you want. I love you and will make everything perfect for you, even when you don't love Me or acknowledge Me or believe in Me." To experience God's grace you have to tell him that you are not perfect. That you can't come to Him because of how dirty and putrid your best attempts at life are compared to Him. You need the payment that Jesus made (His death on the cross) for your sins. And that you need Him, you can't live life on your own. And then once you do that, you have to give your life to Him, complete and utter control of it. As someone that has struggled with that for over 20 years (that sounds funny, since I'm only 24), that is the hardest part of a relationship with God. Not being able to do it my way. Having to put some effort into it. Hence why most marriages fail. So I am thankful that God made a way to be a part of His family (Jesus' love sacrifice) and that He does forgive me, and that He helps me lean on Him every day. And when I don't He sends a gale, or sometimes a tempest to encourage me to lean.


Sarah Boscia said...

Jessica, I am reading a book called "The Shack" I don't remember the author off the top of my head but he is a christian author. It's a great book a little hard to read emotional but has really got me rethink about the way I walk with God and who he is to me. I would highly recommend it. Just read the first part like you are tearing a band-aid off.

Jessica said...

Thanks. That was one of the choices in one of my groups, but there were more that wanted Redeeming Love (supposed to be really good adaptation of the book of Hosea). I hadn't really heard much about it, but since you've said it's really good, I'll pick up a copy or find one to borrow. The only problem is if I read it and realize my flaws (however the book makes you think) I have to fix stuff and sometimes I get ornery.