Okay, I've tried writing this four times now. Once it got lost, once I left it and my husband closed it, and I can't remember what happened last time.
So to explain the name. It's one of my husband's sayings, as in "Of course, why wouldn't that happen to cause discomfort (usually on his part)." Like when dinner burns and I try to explain why I got distracted-Vee needed a change, Ziggy bit Claire, then the phone rang, or I didn't get his laundry done-"Of course, why would you feel like doing the laundry when you can watch Barbie with the girls for the billionth time?" It usually denotes the constant frustrations of life, especially the horrible repetitive ones. But it sounds better than his "I do what I want-YO."
Of course, I've started adopting the saying. "Of course, why wouldn't you pee all over the floor when I just cleaned it, people are coming over in 20 minutes and I just got out of the shower but haven't done my hair so it's going to dry and look all funny while I clean up the pee?" So this is a common and mostly valid question in my house. Sometimes I should expect it and even know it's going to happen, but hope it won't anyway. Like listening to the girls in the bathtub. Don't worry, I'm six feet away and can hear every splash and gurgle. I also know the floor's flooded and who the main culprit is. Three feet tall, blonde hair, blue eyes. It's always the same culprit. Eventually the baby will start too. I'm just hoping by then Ziggy will have stopped. But why would she? Or I order something and mine is the only one that gets lost. "Of course, why wouldn't it?" I pray for patience (sometimes after I lose it), try to laugh (even if through the tears because I'm mentally exhausted from 5.5 years of cleaning up poop and throw-up) and run and hide in my room. That's what the baseball doorknob covers are for.
P.S. I added all the parts that sounded good from the other ones I wrote.